Comments on: Friend or Foe?

By: Jake Kern

Jake Kern — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:02:36 +0000

“Unfriending” someone can be devastating to them especially if they’ve become too entangled in the virtual world versus the real world. It is absolutely important to establish boundaries, and Facebook makes it so that you can establish those boundaries to the level that is appropriate. Next time this person sends you an invite, instead of just clicking “ignore,” look at the small print links just below and select “ignore application” or “ignore all invites from this friend.” If they typically post inappropriate things that show up on your news feed, go to the right side of their post and select “hide.” Then you can either hide all activity from a particular application or hide that person. It still leaves the door open to have communication with them without kicking them to the curb. If necessary, you can set up a “limited access” profile and for certain people you place on the limited access list, they are only able to see the things, photos, friends, etc. that you select.

Again, it is all about establishing appropriate boundaries. My sister-in-law was saying some hurtful things, so I removed her and blocked her. A couple weeks later, she figured out what had happened, and she overreacted in her typical way. However, her pain was real, and in retrospect, my response was unloving. It took a LOT to undue the damage made by that decision.

So, in loving the unlovable, removing a person from your friend list who would obviously notice something like that is a very drastic decision. If it’s necessary to have an appropriate boundary, then do it, but understand that there are so many ways to lessen the interaction with that person without “kicking them to the curb.”

By: Tweets that mention Friend or Fo? | Rethink Monthly -- Topsy.com

Tweets that mention Friend or Fo? | Rethink Monthly -- Topsy.com — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:23:35 +0000

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bo Lane and Bo Lane, RLDee. RLDee said: Friend or Fo?: Lately there seems to be numerous Facebook invites for seemingly pointless events. Normally it’s no… http://bit.ly/cjnc4y [...]

By: Phil Riehl

Phil Riehl — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:58:41 +0000

It all depends.

Some people think that Facebook or Twitter is the same as real life. It isn’t. It’s a digital form of communication that’s less personal than face to face interaction.

That’s not to say that you can get away with saying whatever you want online. Some people are cowards and use their computers as masks to hide behind. Kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FuiKQqDet8.

What is said or done online is a representation of yourself, but some of these actions should be left to a different form of communication, if at all.

So, unfriending someone may not be necessary. Are they the type to get upset and throw a fit if you’re not their digital friend anymore? If so, can you simply ask them to stop sending you stuff?

I don’t think a person is any less a Christian for whatever course of action they feel is necessary online. But, I do think that Christians should have friends of all kinds – Buddhists, homosexuals, Atheists, Democrats, Muslims, prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers or whatever – and not kick them to the curb just because they may be different than ourselves. And we can use Facebook or Twitter as an opportunity to show them love, peace, patience, kindness, etc. We shouldn’t unfriend these people in real life.

By: Bob Chapman

Bob Chapman — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 05:39:21 +0000

A simple and quiet “unnfriend” is not kicking to the curb.

Writing on their walls so that they drop you is kicking to the curb.

There is a difference in being codependent and turning the other cheek. It has a lot to do with our own reaction and reasons for doing what we do.