I made it my mission last night, as I began my now routine nightly walk, to find the meaning of the goodness of God in my own life. I soon found out that this would not be an easy task.

Since the goodness of God, or rather the goodness of anything, is such a large topic, I tried to narrow it down by examining, in my head, the word “good.” What does it mean to be good? I’m a father of two, so it was easy for me to compare a good father to a bad one, so that’s what I did.

A good father naturally desires to provide for his family/children. A good father appropriately discerns the needs of his family and does whatever he can to meet those needs. While the opposite only concerns himself with his own need, or the perception of a need, and therefore disregards the needs of his family.

A good father naturally weighs the wants of his family, even though it would please him, if but for a moment, to give them whatever they desired. But he knows that giving them whatever they want could eventually ruin them (for a case in point, Google “Paris Hilton”).

There were several other points that floated around my head but I was primarily fixed on these: God desires to, and therefore does, provide for me. And, God weighs my wants.

In other words, the goodness of God is His provision in my situation; the goodness of God is His discernment within my situation.

Now as I was walking, and talking aloud to myself, I began to think of all the times God’s goodness was displayed in my life through his provision; the jobs I’ve had, the food on my table, the gifts that came not a moment too soon – all of these things support the notion that God’s provision is His goodness being displayed in my life.

And then I thought about all the times I’ve wanted excess; all the times I’ve wanted the perfect job but didn’t get it. I thought about all these things and determined that I am who/what I am today because I never received those things. But what if I had? What if I received that job and moved away and never met my wife? My life would be radically different, would it not? I wouldn’t be a father, or at least the father that I am today. My situation would be different, and to extract Donald Miller, I would be living a different story. It must be the goodness of God that weighs my wants and balances it according to His will. If not, wouldn’t things be so much different or easier, if only for a short time?

After my walk I came home and shared my thoughts with my wife, Melissa. Then I sat down and found a few websites that talk about God’s goodness. One said, “The goodness of God is a character trait which applies to every other attribute. God’s wrath is good. God’s holiness is good. God’s righteousness is good. God is good in His entirety. There is nothing about God that is not good. There is nothing God purposes for His children that are not good. God gives to His children only that which is good. And He withholds nothing good from us. God is good, and He is at work in our lives for good. Nothing which God creates, nothing which God accomplishes, is not good.”

If I’m being completely honest, the goodness of God confuses me. I think we are too quick to narrow it down and justify God’s goodness as if we get it; as if we fully understand God’s work within us. I believe that God is good. I believe that everything about Him is good but I get hung up sometimes on what exactly “good” looks like.

I was reminded of a video I saw a few months back. It was about a tribe in the Amazon who buries little children alive as part of a tribal ritual. I almost threw up when I saw a man bury a little girl, alive, no more than 4 years old. As soon as the man left, her brother ran and dug her back up and started to carry her away from the tribe when the man spotted him and yelled, “Bring her back! She must die for the good of the tribe!”

The screen went blank for a moment and came on again; this time the man was standing on top of a small hill, packing the soil with his feet. That, from my eyes as a father, is not “good.” It’s far from it. The situation of the men, women, and children who die every day from lack of clean water is not “good.” The situation of the young women, who unwillingly lose their virginity to selfish, disgusting men, is not “good.”

Like I said, I believe that God is good, I really do. And I believe it with my entire heart. I also believe that God “makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” I get all that. I guess, when seeing so much “bad” in the world around me, I have a hard time understanding what it really means to be “good.”

The other night, in a scramble, I managed to get to Target no more than twenty minutes before their closing. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed an employee walking toward a group of shopping carts; surely he must’ve pulled the shorter straw that evening.

As I was making my way to park I noticed some trash (three cups and one straw, to be exact) on the ground in the direction this employee was heading. I moved my car around the garbage as I thought he would reach down and pick it up. He did not. In fact, he looked down, stepped right over it and continued on toward the carts.

I kind of smirked, I must admit, as I asked myself if I would have done the same thing. After all, the store was closing in a short amount of time and this employee probably worked a long shift, spending hours of the day on his feet. But regardless of his reasoning, this simple act revealed a portion of this man’s weakness and character.

Is that a harsh statement? Probably. Was it another employee’s specific duty to pick up the trash in the parking lot? Probably so. But the truth is, this employee isn’t just getting paid for specific tasks, he is also responsible for representing the culture and the appearance of a specific organization. He is one part, of many, that makes up a larger body.

I’m not picking on this particular employee. For all I know, he could be the best employee the store has to offer. Maybe I happened to catch him during a moment of his weakness. But that, too, is a problem.

We, as followers of Jesus, are also part of a larger picture. We are entrusted to represent the culture and appearance of the organization, if you will, of Jesus – the body of Christ. Once we realize that even though we hold specific tasks, gifts, we still need to observe our surroundings – picking up the trash and garbage that others leave behind.

The gospel of Jesus is delicate and, though it has the ability to pierce even the sharpest material, we – a despicable group of individuals surviving only by God’s abundant grace – have been given the unique and unworthy responsibility of presenting it to a lost and dying world.

The Defiance of Natalia Dmytruk

In late November 2004, Viktor Yushchenko and Viktor Yanukovych were the two leading candidates in Ukraine’s heated presidential election. Authorities, however, had rigged official votes to swing Yanukovych as the president, although Yushchenko was clearly the winner.

Here is an excerpt from a Washington Post article that featured Natalia Dmytruk, a television sign language interpreter, whose small act of righteous defiance helped advance Ukraine’s Orange Revolution:

On Nov. 25, she walked into her studio for the 11 a.m. broadcast. “I was sure I would tell people the truth that day,” she said. “I just felt this was the moment to do it.”

Under her long silk sleeve, she had tied an orange ribbon to her wrist, the color of the opposition and a powerful symbol in what would become known as the Orange Revolution. She knew that when she raised her arm, the ribbon would show.

The newscaster was reading the officially scripted text about the results of the election, and Dmytruk was signing along. But then, “I was not listening anymore,” she said.

In her own daring protest, she signed: “I am addressing everybody who is deaf in the Ukraine. Our president is Victor Yushchenko. Do not trust the results of the central election committee. They are all lies. … And I am very ashamed to translate such lies to you. Maybe you will see me again.” she concluded, hinting at what fate might await her. She then continued signing the rest of officially scripted news.

“My legs became so heavy. I was terribly scared,” she said.

Dmytruk’s live silent signal helped spread the news, and more people began spilling into the streets to contest the vote. She returned to work to give the 3 p.m. news, but was not admonished by her superiors. When she finished, she went into the technicians’ studio and told them what she had done. They hugged her all at once. “You are terrific, Natalia,” she said they told her.

Natalia Dmytruk was caught in the act of picking up the trash and garbage that others were leaving behind. That act, among others, led to a re-election and the rightful candidate, Yushchenko, was declared the winner.

Let us too, as believers of Jesus, follow that same pattern, picking up the pieces of those who have distorted the truth of the gospel. Let’s take care of the little things, the small stuff that seems so unimportant, because people are watching. Let’s use our position and our voice, or lack thereof, and present a culture and an appearance that is pleasing to God.

Paul mentioned in his letter to the people of Thessalonica that not only did they do their task of preaching the gospel, they also “worked night and day in order not to be a burden” to those they were ministering to – going above and beyond their specific call of duty.

We have a responsibility to do the same; fulfilling our call and going above and beyond and live, as Paul instructed Timothy, to “do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”

It’s a worthy responsibility for such an unworthy people. And it’s an honor.

How delicate are you concerning the gospel of Jesus?

Though I had heard of Philip Yancey, bestselling author, journalist and speaker, several times in the past, this was the first book (of his twenty-some books) that I had the opportunity to read.

WHAT GOOD IS GOD? follows in the steps of several of Mr. Yancey’s previous offerings and poses a question that concerns the practical value of belief in God: Does faith really matter? This simple question, though the answer isn’t an easy find, takes the author to some of the most fascinating places one individual could go: from the massacre at Virginia Tech to the terror that encircled the streets of Mumbai; from the underground faith in China to the church at risk in the Middle East; from a conference full of professional sex workers to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Chicago.

I particularly enjoyed the format of the book. The author pulled off the extraordinary task of drawing the reader into ten earlier (and amazingly unique) experiences and propelled them from his past and into our present. He draws us in to the places he visited – as if we are standing directly in the midst of the chaos erupting in Mumbai, India in 2008 or experiencing firsthand the tragedy and the pain that embodied those involved in the massacre at Virginia Tech in 2007 – and gives us, the reader, a chance to hear exactly what he said to the people he met during these difficult times.

I believe you will, as I did, walk away with a clearer understanding of how faith in action works and how grace, when displayed on large and small scales alike, can be presented beautifully, as Mr. Yancey puts it, even in the hands of God’s people. He closes the last section of this book with this exhortation: We who follow Jesus are called to be dispensers of God’s grace, setting loose this powerful force on a weary, violent planet. May the church be known as a place where grace flows on tap: to sinners, to rich and poor alike, to those who need more light, to outcasts, to those who disagree, to oppressed and oppressors both.

WHAT GOOD IS GOD? is a beautiful exploration of one man’s journey to show a lost and dying world that faith really does work, especially when it’s tested to the extreme.

Shortly after I went into full time ministry, I received a gift from my grandparents. It was a leather-bound Bible that fit seamlessly in the palm of my hand and had the words “Holy Bible – Minister’s Edition” sprawled across the front in gold lettering. It was a fine addition to my steadily growing stack of Bibles – yet this one contained groupings of scripture that applied to different areas or struggles that someone might be going through. A guide, if you will, to counseling or encouraging a person in their time of need.

Alcoholism, divorce, anger and pride were just a few of the topics that were covered in this Minister’s Edition Bible. It was a handy tool that I kept fairly accessible in my church office. After I received a call from one of my volunteer youth workers, I remember grabbing this Bible and heading out the door to the hospital.

The mom to one of the students in our youth ministry (this student was one out of a particular group of young people that was picked up and brought to our church by the same youth worker that called me) was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care unit and was in critical condition. The specific details escape me as to why she was in critical condition but, regardless, this youth worker wanted me, as her pastor, to come down and lay hands on her and pray. She specifically requested that I lay hands on her; a request I found interesting, especially since this youth worker was new in her faith in Jesus. Nonetheless, I remembered the request. As I got to the hospital, I sat in the waiting room, clutching my Bible and scrounging my memory bank for something profound to say.

This area of ministry has never been a strong point for me, so as the youth worker came in to the waiting area and asked me to follow her to this woman’s room, I took a deep breath and asked God to give me the words to say.

I followed her down the hallway and through the doors to the Intensive Care unit. There was a nurse’s island in the middle of the unit with glass doors that circled the island; a way for staff members to keep an eye on each patient in their most fragile state. When we came to the room I was taken aback by this woman’s physical and mental state. She lay helpless upon her bed, moaning a deep and distressing moan. Immediately I thought to myself, “Surely, this woman is going to die very soon.”

The youth worker stood on one side of the bed and I on the other. At this point, I still had no words, nothing clever or pastor-like to say. I just stood there staring at this woman. After a moment of silence, I looked over at the youth worker, laid my hands on the lady, and asked if she wouldn’t mind saying a prayer for this ailing woman.

If I’m being honest, I probably would’ve prayed something extravagant, elegant; a prayer that might sound graceful and important here on earth but would resound as a dull and dreary instrument in the halls of Heaven. Her prayer was much more authentic, real, motivated by a true and childlike passion and a firm belief that the one she was praying for would one day walk out of this hospital alive and well.

My faith was not as bold. My thoughts leaned toward pity rather than the miraculous. I left the hospital with little to no faith that this woman would continue breathing through the night.

A handful of days went by and this youth worker came to me with good news. I smiled but instantly I knew why God chose me, though he didn’t use me, to go to the hospital that day. It wasn’t the strength in my words that God chose; I didn’t use any. It wasn’t my faith that God wanted; I didn’t have any. He chose to use the prayers of one who believed and He chose to display my weakness, he chose to display my unbelief.

“I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses,” the Apostle Paul told the Corinthians. “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

This is me boasting about my weaknesses so that Christ’s strength can be made manifest in my life. Truly, we can learn from our weaknesses, often times more than our strengths, because it allows Christ to work in and through us and, just as importantly, it pushes our hearts toward humility – a weakness worth boasting about.

I was listening to Big Whiskey, Dave Matthew’s latest album, the other day while the wife and I came back from our canoeing trip and became fascinated by the words to the song Funny The Way It Is.

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
Somebody’s going hungry and someone else is eating out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody’s heart is broken and it becomes your favorite song

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another’s dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier’s last breath his baby’s being born

Funny, or not so funny, the way it is when you think about the contrasts one life has from the next. Most of the time it’s not so funny.

Like seeing children, the same age as yours, struggle through life with little to no resources to get them by. Children with parents that abuse them. Or in undeveloped countries, parents who simply can’t provide food and water and have to be the one who carries their dead child to the grave.

Funny the way it is. Or not so funny.

I remember befriending a kid in grade school who, when first meeting him, told me of the time his stepdad was drunk and was driving a motorcycle and he was on the back. The stepdad crashed the bike and this young man had his leg amputated.

… not so funny.

It can be disheartening to compare the stories of those around us, and even our own story, to lives more glamorous as ours and not wish that life were easier, more simple. As a Christian, I’ve thought it too many times, thinking that our lives as believers should not be so difficult. We are, as a matter of fact, children of the Almighty – a name that resounds with power and authority. Shouldn’t these things not happen to us, His followers?

I’m always brought back to the passage in Matthew 5 where it talks about “loving your enemies” and “praying for those who persecute you.” Matthew goes on to talk about the nature of God and says, “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Funny the way God is. He has made us all unique. He has given us an opportunity to follow His Son, Jesus, but that opportunity will someday end. It’s pleasing to know that we serve a God who allows the good and the bad to befall us, to humble us, and to keep us always in need of a Savior.