They love one another, and from widows they do not turn away their esteem; and they deliver the orphan from him who treats him harshly. And he, who has, gives to him who has not, without boasting. And when they see a stranger, they take him in to their homes and rejoice over him as a very brother; . . . and if there is among them any that is poor and needy, and if they have no spare food, they fast two or three days in order to supply to the needy their lack of food.

If you feel discouraged, I’d like to encourage you to take the next two months and dedicate yourself to mimicking those second-century Christians. Find a widow, buy her groceries, and clean her house for two months. Visit an orphanage and volunteer to tutor the children. Find a homeless person and bring him or her into your house. Get her job training. Help him find transitional housing. Homeless people are no more or less dangerous in the twenty-first century than they were in the second. Fast for two or three days and take the money you would normally spend at the grocery and give it to someone who is without food or resources. Do this for a few months and you’ll feel something inside yourself you thought you’d never feel again: hope.

Chris’s band played a few songs, and Crystal and I sat at the table in silence. I felt terrible for making her feel so awkward. After they were done with their set, I made the decision to apologize to her.

Steve, the lead singer of my husband’s band, started singing the last song, an acoustic and musically moving piece called “Silence.” Tears started cutting a path on Crystal’s porcelain skin as he sang.

Late night trying to find escape
The memories and thoughts that chase you
Out into the light
Of the place you try to hide
Face to face with all the proof
You swear they’re looking down on you
They look so deep inside
And you tried so hard to hide
And now you break your promise to yourself
You storming through the dark
And needing someone else
The mystery
The tragedy
And of pulling up those you find
Inside the only hand
That’s in sight
I need someone to fight for
I need someone to speak
I’m lost and abandoned
And the silence is killing me
I need to feel human
I need to feel anything
I’m lost and abandoned
And the silence is killing is me

Steve thanked everyone, and the band started to head offstage. Crystal swung around the table to face me with such force our cans of Diet Coke rocked back and forth, threatening to spill.

She leaned in so close I could feel her breath on my neck as she said, “What you talked about earlier? The porn? That’s me. That’s me too. I can’t stop. I look at it all the time. On the Internet. On TV. However. I can’t stop. I saw my brother’s Playboy when I was ten years old—that was eight years ago—and I haven’t been able to stop since then. I thought I was the only girl who had this problem. I knew guys looked at it. In fact, it kind of seems expected when guys look at it. I thought I was so messed up. I know it’s not right, but I’ve never been able to tell anyone about it. Anne, I need to stop. I have to stop.” Her body shook as she cried, and I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her close to me.

“You think we can help each other with this?” I asked her. “Would you want to put that software on your computer too, and then we can just talk about this? Maybe find some other things to help us?”

She nodded her head yes, and her body seemed to almost float off the table. Sure, this confession was just the beginning of a very long, very difficult road of finding freedom, but the weight that had been bearing down on her for the last eight years of her life had lifted. The air she now breathed in and that passed through her blood and through her heart was no longer polluted by the shame she had been carrying.

What transpired at this concert is what my friend Jon calls “the Gift of Going Second.” Whenever somebody confesses something, and they’re the first to do it, it’s usually a pretty hard step to take. They don’t know how people will respond. They fear all the judgment and isolation. But they do it anyway. They give a gift.

What happens on the other side of that confession is something beautiful. When you confess, there’s somebody on the other side of that confession who could very well be keeping a secret too. So when you go first, you’re opening up this amazing opportunity for trust. You’re saying, “I’m broken.” That trust carries so much power with it. It can give people the courage to go second.

When people go second, it’s not an easy thing, but because you’ve already broken the silence—you’ve already released some of the shame in that confession—it makes it a little bit easier. They know they can trust you. And so you give them a gift.

The Gift of Going Second.

It’s the Gift of Going Second that starts waves of confession and healing.

I gave Crystal the Gift of Going Second when I shared my story of addiction with her. She found it a little bit easier to confess. But the gift doesn’t stop there. Once you’ve experienced the power it has, you get to switch places and become the person who goes first for the people who have yet to confess.

You now get to give the Gift of Going Second.

Crystal took this responsibility and has given hundreds of women the Gift of Going Second. She went through some counseling and recovery and is getting healthier every day. Now, several years later, she’s leading a “Victory over Sexual Sin” class for women at her church and has even started a ministry dedicated to helping women overcome pornography addiction. She’s had the chance to share her story from the stage at churches and online and for college students.

She keeps passing on the gift.

The Gift of Going Second.

Excerpted from Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson, by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

I was on my way to a concert that was a fund-raiser put on by high school kids every year. My husband’s band was playing, and I was looking forward to spending some time with some students I was volunteering with.

Crystal was one of those students. She was shy and admittedly insecure at times, but I could tell she was beginning to find herself, and on rare moments, she also was finding the confidence to let herself shine through.

We grabbed some soda and sat down at a table off in the back of the room. She was quieter than usual. I asked if everything was okay, and she assured me she was fine. It had just been a long day. The first band started, and the bad PA system echoed their music throughout the sports complex in their gym.

Between songs, I kept glancing over at Crystal. She wasn’t paying a bit of attention to the band, the music, or the swarms of people milling around us. She was intently focused on staring at the top of her Diet Coke can. A few other girls joined us at the table for a while, and she barely looked up.

Something was definitely wrong.

I may not be good at much, but something I feel I’ve been uniquely gifted with is a very keen sense of reading people. Call it intuition or a sixth sense; I don’t know. But when something is wrong with a person, as I was sensing with Crystal, it’s almost like I can hear the sounds her heart is too afraid to turn into words.

Crystal was a good girl. She never got in any trouble at church or school. I couldn’t imagine she was feeling guilty for partying too hard or getting into a fight with someone.

And then it hit me, right out of the blue.

She had a porn problem.

I know it sounds weird, and trust me, I don’t typically walk into rooms and think, Oh, she has a porn problem, or Oh, he’s cheating on his wife, but sometimes those things just hit me; and most of the time, my instincts have been spot-on.

The question now was how to find out for sure. Because if my gut was right, this meant our relationship would grow much deeper, very quickly. And if I was wrong, well, I’d look like a freaking idiot.

I had already asked her if something was wrong, and she said no, so I didn’t want to seem like I was pushing her. My next thought was to simply share how porn had been such a problem in my own life, but then I realized how creepy that would be—especially if I was wrong. How do you start that conversation exactly? Especially at a high school rock show? I played the conversation out in my head.

“So, that song was really awesome. That bass player is incredible. Did you know I was addicted to porn? Wanna hear about it?”

Yeah.

That probably would be just a tad awkward.

Silently, I asked for wisdom and courage to say the right thing. Actually, it didn’t even have to be the right thing; it could have been anything to help my friend get whatever she needed to get off her chest.

The first band finished, and I asked Crystal if she wanted another Diet Coke. I got up and got more snacks and came back. She was still looking pretty upset. I decided to just dive in and let the conversation flow.

“So I’ve had this thing that’s been really jacking with me lately. It actually used to mess with me a lot a few years ago, but it still tempts me on a frequent basis. . . . I really haven’t been able to share much about it with many people, but I feel like I need to share it with someone.”

I paused a bit, taking a mental and emotional deep breath, realizing that I was just about to confess something really shameful to a girl I barely knew. At this time, the secret about my porn addiction was still very much close to my vest.

“You can totally say no. I mean, I know you don’t really know me and stuff, but I just feel like I need to share it with you.”

Crystal looked confused, and rightly so. She had one of her eyebrows cocked up and her mouth twisted a bit, but I could tell she was curious.

“Sure, yeah, I guess . . . ,” she mumbled, looking down.

“And you won’t tell anyone about it, right? Because I’m not really sure how many people I want to know about this.”

She now looked a little concerned, like maybe she needed to pull out her cell phone and have the police on speed dial.

“No, I won’t tell anyone,” she said, now trying to mask her What the heck? look with a You can trust me and I’m serious expression.

“Okay. You see that guy up there tearing down the drums on the stage?”

She looked up and nodded.

“His shirt says XXXChurch.com—The #1 Christian Porn Site, right?”

Crystal wrinkled her nose a little bit. “Yeah, what is that, even?”

“It’s a website for Christians who have addictions to porn and sex and stuff like that.”

“Really?” she asked, whispering. “A lot of Christians look at porn?”

I leaned in a bit and nodded.

“That’s kind of the thing I wanted to talk to you about. That website has actually been really helpful for me, because when I was in high school and up until a couple of years ago, I was totally hooked on porn. Well, I was hooked on a lot of things. But porn was the biggest issue for me.”

Crystal looked back at me, not blinking. Not saying anything. So I continued talking.

“You see, I got rid of my computer a few years ago, and even right now I don’t have Internet at home, but I have it at work and when I go over to my in-laws and stuff. So now that I have access to it, I’m finding that I keep getting tempted to look at it again. The cool thing about XXXChurch.com is they have software called X3Watch you put on your computer and it will e-mail the sites you visit to people you tell it to, you know, for accountability. And since I’m starting to be tempted again, I really need someone to help me keep that in check. I know it’s a big ask, but can I put you down as someone who would be e-mailed my Internet usage report?”

I didn’t mean to confess that much. I totally didn’t plan on telling her all that. I didn’t plan on asking for her help.

She simply said, “Sure. I guess that’d be fine,” and turned her head back toward the stage. My husband’s band was about to play.

It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. I was sure she was going to confess something back to me. But maybe my gut instinct was wrong. Maybe I needed the help and it wasn’t about her.

WATCH for Part 2 on November 3rd, 2010.

Excerpted from Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson, by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Two Hebrew words will shape our thinking about this last bit of Scripture. One is tikkun, a word that tells of the healing of the world; the other is shalom, a word sometimes used as a greeting or parting that means “peace,” although its depth is greater than peace. It is more a picture of wholeness. It means “beauty.” Shalom is a word that describes what the world will someday be, God willing. And tikkun is the word for our willingness to be part of it, for how our attempt to be righteous can lead to the beauty and love and healing God intends for all of us.

Isaiah says some prophetic things that should be familiar to us now. Isaiah calls to task the rich and the powerful and imagines a coming day when the needs of the needy will be filled, and the noble will act with nobility. Toward the end of this comes the promise of what will happen when people act with true righteousness:

Then the spirit of fairness and truth will settle in the desert places, and righteousness will infuse the fertile land.

Then righteousness will yield peace, and the quiet and confidence that attend righteousness will be present forever. (Isa. 32:16–17)

As a Hebrew psalmist sang,

Unfailing love and truth have met on their way; righteousness and peace have kissed one another. (Ps. 85:10)

Your rule is rooted deeply in justice and righteousness — unfailing love and truth lead from the way ahead of You. (Ps. 89:14)

The seed that flowers into righteousness will always be planted in peace by those who embrace peace. ( James 3:18)

The broken can be restored by the love and grace of Christ, expressed through his people. What are the excuses holding you back from the beautiful adventure that is true Christianity? Like Jeremiah, is it your age? Have you become comfortable in religious circles and afraid to walk into the cesspools of your city? Gather some fellow disciples and walk with great purpose into the trailer parks, homeless colonies, gay bars, and government housing projects that surround you. You will be moved to redemptive action as you see the people you once labeled as “bad” through the eyes of Jesus.

Excerpted from The Gospel According to Jesus by Chris Seay, by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

He eventually came to His hometown, Nazareth, and did there what He had done elsewhere in Galilee—entered the synagogue and stood up to read from the Hebrew Scriptures.

The synagogue attendant gave Him the scroll of the prophet Isaiah, and Jesus unrolled it to the place where Isaiah had written these words:

The Spirit of the Lord the Eternal One is on Me.

Why? Because the Eternal designated Me to be His representative to the poor, to preach good news to them.

He sent Me to tell those who are held captive that they can now be set free, and to tell the blind that they can now see.

He sent Me to liberate those held down by oppression.

In short, the Spirit is upon Me to proclaim that now is the time; This is the jubilee season of the Eternal One’s grace.

Jesus rolled up the scroll and returned it to the synagogue attendant. Then He sat down, as a teacher would do, and all in the synagogue focused their attention on Jesus, waiting for Him to speak. He told them that these words from the Hebrew Scriptures were being fulfilled then and there, in their hearing. His purpose was to fulfill what Isaiah had described. (Luke 4:16–21)

What Jesus was saying was that the good news he had come to bring—the teaching and the healing that he was doing—had its basis in God’s ongoing messages of justice and faithfulness. And that righteousness was not just about tallying our rights and wrongs; it was about a way of life in which people were called to justice and mercy and holiness all at the same time. The prophet Amos called his people to task and told them that if they continued to follow their culture’s false gods instead of the God of Israel, it would be disastrous for them. What God wanted was not simply right worship and belief from His people, but for them to live lives shaped by justice and mercy.

Eternal One: I hate—I totally reject—your religious ceremonies. You think I delight in your solemn gatherings? I do not!

You can offer Me whole burnt offerings and grain offerings, but I will not accept them.

You can sacrifice your finest, fattest young animals as a peace offering, but I will not even look up.

And stop making that music for Me—it’s just noise. I will not listen to the melodies you play on the harp.

Here’s what I want: Let justice thunder down like a waterfall; let righteousness flow like a mighty river that never runs dry. (Amos 5:21–24)

What Amos and other prophets are telling us is that even before Jesus came to bring us God’s good news, God was letting us know his desires. Abraham Heschel explains the prophets in vivid certainty:

Instead of dealing with the timeless issues of being and becoming, of matter and form, of definitions and demonstrations, [the reader of the prophets] is thrown into orations about widows and orphans, about the corruption of judges and affairs of the marketplace. Instead of showing us a way through the elegant mansions of the mind, the prophets take us to the slums. The world is a proud place, full of beauty, but the prophets are scandalized, and rave as if the whole world were a slum . . . To us a single act of injustice—cheating in business, exploitation of the poor—is slight; to the prophets, a disaster. To us injustice is injurious to the welfare of the people; to the prophets it is a deathblow to existence; to us, an episode; to them, a catastrophe, a threat to the world.

These prophets also show us that people were either misunderstanding or ignoring what righteousness meant long before we were. Isaiah, Amos, and Jeremiah all talk about those who think they know what God wants—right worship—but have ignored God’s stronger command to be righteous. In his famous temple sermon, Jeremiah said, in ways that should convict many of us, that God’s call to righteousness meant so much more than showing up for church.

This is the message the Eternal One gave to Jeremiah. A message delivered just as He instructed.

Eternal One: Go now and take a stand for Me at the entrance to My temple. Tell all of Judah to hear the Eternal One’s words as they pass through these gates. If they are supposedly on their way to worship Me, tell them to listen to Me, Jeremiah. Tell them this is what I, the Eternal One, Commander of heavenly armies and God of Israel, decree:

“Change your ways and stop what you are doing, and I will let you live in this land. Do not rely on the misguiding words of the phrase, ‘The temple of the Eternal, the temple of the Eternal, the temple of the Eternal,’ as if the temple’s presence alone will protect you. But if you genuinely change your ways and stop what you are doing; if you deal with each other fairly; if you don’t oppress the immigrants, orphans, and widows; if you don’t shed the blood of the innocent in this place; and if you don’t practice this self-destructive worship of other gods, then I will let you live in this land I promised to your ancestors forever and ever.” ( Jer. 7:1–7)

These were the scriptures that Jesus and the Jews knew, the wisdom from God that Jesus said in the Gospels that he had come to fulfill. The life of righteousness that we are supposed to live has been laid out for millennia, we just have been too blind or too weak or too stubborn to seize it. Righteousness is living out life through a restored, liberated heart made possible through Jesus. My friend Greg Garrett points out in his book Holy Superheroes that we tend to understand justice (a familiar and misunderstood word for those of us in the American church) with connotations about right behavior and punishment of wrong behavior:

Justice is more than punishment, a response to a negative action; it is also righteousness, a response to negative conditions. To think of justice simply as retribution and punishment for crimes committed is too limiting; just as the Anglican Book of Common Prayer’s confession includes sins of commission, it also includes those things that we ought to have done, but didn’t.

Excerpted from The Gospel According to Jesus by Chris Seay, by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc.